I'm far removed from the days where I would visualize that we could ever be more than we were. The thoughts that we could one day be synonymous to each other. That point where someone looking for me would be equivalent to someone looking for you. You know those couples. The ones that are so cute they annoy everyone else. I used to want that for us. And we had our shot. But it's like we never loaded the chamber.
I'm not quite sure what held us back. Were we worried about losing the friendship? Did I appear to come off to strong? Or were you just too scared of the bogeyman?
Hmm...
Whatever the case may be, we moved past it. Almost instantaneously. It was like the brief moments of possible romantic grandeur were blown away with nothing more than a wisp of wind.
But that's ok. Really. I have found complacence in our far from subtle flirtatious friendship. I'm flattered when people ask me, "Why don't you just date her?". Because that's when I get to say, "Well, it's complicated." And with a smile, I laugh it off. I've always been happy as long as you were.
I want you to know that I love you. And not that 'Oh my god, we're such good friends' kind of love. But also not that 'Will you marry me' kind of love either.
No, the love I feel for you is that undefined uncategorized type of love that you can only feel for someone that will forever live in your heart.
But now my role has changed. I am here to help you filter through every guy that wants to be the one in your life. I'll admit, I have mixed feelings as I watch you go through the motions with someone that isn't me.
No one can really match up to me, right? That's what I tell myself.
But that's neither here nor there. Because I know that you deserve the best. And the fact that, even in one moment, you thought that it could be me, I'm grateful.
So, even though I seemingly am not the right man for you... Thank you for your consideration.
Live, love & learn!
-The King
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Can't Bite My Tongue
Hey guys, I'm back. Been absent from this blog for a while. But something really has me festering over here.
I'm sure by now everyone has heard about the whole Kanye West VMA debacle.
I want to talk about this but not the way you're thinking. I don't want to comment on Kanye's actions. Enough has been said about that. My concern is in regards to the outpouring of racist comments aimed at Kanye after his actions.
Let me preface by saying that I do not believe that Kanye's actions at the VMAs had anything to do with race. We know Kanye well enough by now to know that if his issues were racially motivated he would have said that plain and clear. He's never really been one to bite his tongue.
But someone please tell me why the internet, especially twitter & youtube, was immediately barraged with some of the most bold and outlandish racial slanders I've seen in a while.
Examples:
After reading an article on the Media Assassin blog, (http://harryallen.info/?p=5154), I was left with a mind numbing mix of emotions. Emotions that still plague me. I can't even make up my mind on if I'm upset or hurt. I'm appalled and outraged. I'm not only saddened for my people, but saddened for people. Saddened at how easy it was for these young people to lean in this direction. I'm mentally in a state of shock. But mainly in shock because this is not shocking.
How does this even happen in the age we live in? We are surrounded by the most multi-cultural stimuli in history. Not to mention the first black president! And whether you like hip hop or not you have to know that the hip hop community has lead the way in trend setting culture for the past ten years, at least. And so just when I think it's getting possible for younger generations to live without being bound by segregated mindsets we are hit with displays like this.
When will people realize that racism is not just something from the past? One of my favorite quotes from that article is:
"Racism is not historical. It’s futuristic. It is not going away. It is being refined. It is weaponized through deceit, secrecy, and violence, in that order. Its chief tools are not clubs, bullets, or nooses, butwords"
And that's exactly where we stand. Of course racism isn't going away. It can't go away when the very people who tell us that it is a thing of the past are the ones teaching it to their children.
Racism is not a born characteristic; it's learned. It's passed along from generation to generation. I wish that we never even had to teach children about race anymore. But you can't send a child into the world unprepared.
As a young boy my mother schooled me on the world that I would one day wander in and squander in. It was her job to inform me about racism and the prejudice that I could/would one day face. This was not presented to me for me to formulate judgments and opinions based on history. But rather for me to be prepared for the possibilities that awaited me.
As I look around, I don't see children that were given facts and the tools to comprehend them. On the contrary, I see children who were presented with feelings and grew up building their reality around these emotions. And now those 'children' are working, aging, reproducing adults who are already set in their ways. And that's why I miss the good old fashioned debate. It showed people that you could not win anything by formulating points around emotions. You have to go for the facts. Something that I feel is lost on the younger generations now.
Racism is a form of ignorance. And the only way to defeat ignorance is with intelligence.
One of my favorite comments on that article is:
"I am appalled but not surprised by the recourse of those of limited lexicon to pejorative and demeaning language. One can but pity their limited faculties and move on."
And that's exactly how you defeat those who use words as weapons. Diminish their minuscule palaver with your own educated and extensive parlance.
Now, let me end with the same line that I end all of my blogs with...
Live, love & learn!
-The King
P.S.
For those reading on other sites, (ie: Facebook), my blog link has moved to http://jdubtheking.blogspot.com
I'm sure by now everyone has heard about the whole Kanye West VMA debacle.
I want to talk about this but not the way you're thinking. I don't want to comment on Kanye's actions. Enough has been said about that. My concern is in regards to the outpouring of racist comments aimed at Kanye after his actions.
Let me preface by saying that I do not believe that Kanye's actions at the VMAs had anything to do with race. We know Kanye well enough by now to know that if his issues were racially motivated he would have said that plain and clear. He's never really been one to bite his tongue.
But someone please tell me why the internet, especially twitter & youtube, was immediately barraged with some of the most bold and outlandish racial slanders I've seen in a while.
Examples:
After reading an article on the Media Assassin blog, (http://harryallen.info/?p=5154), I was left with a mind numbing mix of emotions. Emotions that still plague me. I can't even make up my mind on if I'm upset or hurt. I'm appalled and outraged. I'm not only saddened for my people, but saddened for people. Saddened at how easy it was for these young people to lean in this direction. I'm mentally in a state of shock. But mainly in shock because this is not shocking.
How does this even happen in the age we live in? We are surrounded by the most multi-cultural stimuli in history. Not to mention the first black president! And whether you like hip hop or not you have to know that the hip hop community has lead the way in trend setting culture for the past ten years, at least. And so just when I think it's getting possible for younger generations to live without being bound by segregated mindsets we are hit with displays like this.
When will people realize that racism is not just something from the past? One of my favorite quotes from that article is:
"Racism is not historical. It’s futuristic. It is not going away. It is being refined. It is weaponized through deceit, secrecy, and violence, in that order. Its chief tools are not clubs, bullets, or nooses, butwords"
And that's exactly where we stand. Of course racism isn't going away. It can't go away when the very people who tell us that it is a thing of the past are the ones teaching it to their children.
Racism is not a born characteristic; it's learned. It's passed along from generation to generation. I wish that we never even had to teach children about race anymore. But you can't send a child into the world unprepared.
As a young boy my mother schooled me on the world that I would one day wander in and squander in. It was her job to inform me about racism and the prejudice that I could/would one day face. This was not presented to me for me to formulate judgments and opinions based on history. But rather for me to be prepared for the possibilities that awaited me.
As I look around, I don't see children that were given facts and the tools to comprehend them. On the contrary, I see children who were presented with feelings and grew up building their reality around these emotions. And now those 'children' are working, aging, reproducing adults who are already set in their ways. And that's why I miss the good old fashioned debate. It showed people that you could not win anything by formulating points around emotions. You have to go for the facts. Something that I feel is lost on the younger generations now.
Racism is a form of ignorance. And the only way to defeat ignorance is with intelligence.
One of my favorite comments on that article is:
"I am appalled but not surprised by the recourse of those of limited lexicon to pejorative and demeaning language. One can but pity their limited faculties and move on."
And that's exactly how you defeat those who use words as weapons. Diminish their minuscule palaver with your own educated and extensive parlance.
Now, let me end with the same line that I end all of my blogs with...
Live, love & learn!
-The King
P.S.
For those reading on other sites, (ie: Facebook), my blog link has moved to http://jdubtheking.blogspot.com
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